marilan's Xanga

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 21:06:16 GMT

Life as a Middle School Teacher…

I dedicated about a month of my time as a substitute teacher at a middle school. The very first day was filled with challenges and an overwhelming sense of stress. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The days seemed to get easier yet harder at the same time. Teaching Math and Science never crossed my mind… neither did teaching 12 year olds soon turning 13. What was I thinking getting myself into this situation? Is this the challenge God felt that I was 100 apable of doing? Each day was a battle with not just the students, but the administration as well. It was the closest hold I have ever had towards having my own classroom. The students questioned my authority… they pushed me to my limits… yet I only shed my tears one day after school. The support I had from other teachers was extraordinary! The V.P. was compassionate and supportive in so many. She was the one person that told me to, “Hang in there!” She believed in me and questioned why I have never had a fulltime position. She constantly reminded me of what great of a teacher I am. She has helped me realize that it is not because of me for the reason why I been receiving calls stating “We have selected someone else for the position”. The students that respected me will forever be in my heart. I love teaching… it is my passion! I feel that it is my calling to help change society one student at a time. My goal is to show the students that I am that one person who believes in them… “failure is not an option” in my classroom!

We make decisions everyday. We are faced with questions that constantly run through our minds in search for answers. Is it really worth it? My specialization is in the elementary level. Tomorrow I will go back to what I know and embrace the experience whole heartedly. It will guide me towards my ultimate question on my mind… will I go back on Monday for my interview?

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 16:02:37 GMT

Yesterday, I was the host for our monthly U.N.I.T.Y. rosary. It was so uplifting and spiritual that even my husband’s cousin, Liem, could tell that I was at peace once everyone left my house last night. The great part about our gathering was incorporating prayer intentions for everyone to participate in. Before we started praying, everyone listed prayer intentions on my whiteboard. Each intention was said during every mystery. After the rosary we just hung out and ate cake. We laughed, we cried from laughing so hard, and we were all in good company. As religious as my family is, we never really started praying the rosary together. However, my mom does light the house candle everyday and occasionally we would say a family prayer. I truly believe in the saying, “Families who prays together, stays together.” This is true with my family from church. A group of my fellow church friends and I have started a new group, which I mentioned earlier. U.N.I.T.Y., which stands for “Understanding, Nurturing, Inspiring the Youth”. Our group consists of youth and young adults that are motivated to “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord”. We are a close group with an enormous heart. This month we are planning on having a “Friend’s Movie Night”. This is Manang’s great idea :D We will be showing the movie Hotel Rwanda and afterwards have a short discussion on the movie. One the 23^rd of July we will be having a BBQ at our church in commemoration to our brother, Reggie Lacosta, who will be leaving for Iraq this September. I was so sad to hear that he was leaving, but I know he’ll come back home. I’m just going to miss playing basketball and football with him the months that he will not be here and also seeing him on Mondays and Wednesdays at church. I know God will be watching over him.

So, my life has been good these last couple of weeks. My best friend was home the whole month of June, which was great. I actually go out when she is home. Since almost all the schools are on summer break and no teachers are requesting subs, I have been tutoring two students who used to attend Kid Angel, the after school literacy program I used to work for. I really enjoy working with them one-on-one because I know that teacher’s now-a-days cannot offer that to their students, especially since teacher’s aides were removed from the classroom. Speaking of classrooms, it would be so awesome if I could have my own classroom this year. If I don’t, then it’s okay because I have already been offered a long-term substitute job in Poway. This is the best way to get noticed by a principal. HAPPY THOUGHTS!

Well, that’s all for now from me. I wish you all a great Fourth of July weekend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANETTE and JAJA

Monday, June 20, 2005

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 03:26:10 GMT

big shot bob

AMAZING!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 05:10:12 GMT

i finally watched it...

and i'm speechless!

*edit

6/9/05

Now I've found the words. It took me forever to finally watch this movie. Everyone kept telling me that it was a great movie and that I would definitely cry (which is not a shocker for me). The funny thing was... I didn't even cry... I SOBBED :D I know that it is a full on predictable chick flick, but oh man... it just got to me. Afterwards - I sat on my couch in awe. I couldn't even explain the feeling that I had. I was sad, yet hurt... but then happy at the same time. I have never had this type of a reaction to a movie. I mean, even when I had to pause the movie to go the restroom... I started crying while I was on the toilet. NOAH... oh my goodness. For a man to be that fine and that giving has to be a crime. Hello... can we say "One in a million MAN!" I thought it was so funny that the other guys name was "Lon"... hmmm... sounds like "Lan". Again... please don't get me wrong readers.... my man treats me right... "actions speaks louder than words". And for those who know Lan... this statement totally pertains to him. Wow, this movie truly portrays the effects of beginning love. It's so new... yet so mushy and disgusting. However... I miss those butterflies.

awwwwwwwwww... time to go! Schools out and I need to get outta here!

Thanks Manang and Bev for watching the movie with me... it was great crying with you :D

I love Noah...oops... I mean... I love Lan

hahahaha... "that's gay"... what Lan would say

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Sat, 21 May 2005 11:50:35 GMT

This is such a special time of the year… it’s Graduation time… and boy are there so many people I know who are walking to receive the most expensive paper they will ever see in their life!

Graduation… words cannot simply describe the emotions one goes through while they are standing in line… hearing the graduation theme song playing in the background. The graduate begins to reminisce of their first day of school...

As you walk through the University, your mind and body is filled with anxiety and anticipation. The thought of graduation is unheard of since it feels too distant to be conceived. All of a sudden the crowd in the stand begins to cheer. All you hear are blow horns and groups of people yelling frantically trying to get their loved ones attention. Your section stands up… ten people are ahead of you. As you start walking towards the stage… you quickly think about what you are about to do after you shake the President's hand. The announcer says your name… you did it… it’s over. As you sit back into your seat… you open up your degree holder and see… a piece of paper telling you that you will receive your certificate in the mail in the next 6 months. As you think about your years in school... you finally can sit back and breathe.

Graduating from college is an enormous accomplishment. And I am so proud and happy for all the Class of 2005 Graduates. Today I am flying to Boston to witness my best friend graduate from Boston College with her Masters in Social Work. This has truly been an amazing ride for this girl and it is so uplifting to see her accomplish her goal.

CONGRATULATIONS:

Beverly – Boston College, Masters in Social Work

Carlenne – San Diego State, Masters in Theater

Agnes – Cal State Long Beach, Bachelors

Cherlyn – Cal State San Marcos, Bachelors

Jomelyn – San Diego State, Bachelors

Michelle – San Diego State, Bachelors

Wil – San Diego State, Bachelors

Virgil – San Diego State, Bachelors

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S !

love, mare

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 16:32:34 GMT

God Bless are Pontiff!

I open up my heart to the new Pope Benedict XVI

Pope Benedict the 16 said from his balcony at the Vatican, "My dear brothers and sisters,
after the great pope John Paul II,
the cardinals elected me, a simple and humble worker in the vineyard of the Lord.
I am consoled by the fact that the Lord knows how to work and act through insufficient instruments, and I trust myself to your prayers."

"In the joy of the lord and the joy of the risen Lord, and trusting in his permanent health, we move forward, the loard will help us. Mary, the holy mother, is on our side."
(http://freeinternetpress.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=3401)

He is our new leader that will guide us towards our faith

So cool to know that he is from Germany! What a blessing to my birthplace!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 18:29:12 GMT

MY FORTUNE COOKIE SAYS....

Stand tall.

Don't look down upon yourself

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 17:53:11 GMT

I've learn from my own mistakes...

and I know that things do happen for a reason

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 19:06:18 GMT

As a devote Catholic, it is painful to see Pope John Paul II suffer. The thought saddens me as Catholics are aware that a beloved leader will soon be in the hands of God. He is truly the “Man of the People”, which is prevailed by the numbering size of individuals keeping vigil in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican.

This is truly a time of reflection and prayer. He is a man who has given so much hope for everyone and not just to Catholics. “He is truly an inspiration to everyone”, states the President. This is an inspiration that can be visible to all, in hopes of the world to becoming a peaceful place within ourselves and to others.

In my life I strive to live a faithful Christian lifestyle. I try to help those in need even when help is not asked for. The last couple of weeks I have been contemplating my goals in life and pondering whether or not public school is my ultimate dream. I miss being involved in the church and helping the youth. I miss being a leader in the eyes of the Church. I miss teaching my faith to those who have lost theirs. A couple weeks ago at the Stations of the Cross, one of the parishioners came up to me and mentioned that she has not seen me in awhile. She had asked if I was still involved with the youth. I told her that I have been trying to manage the transition from being single to being married. She said, “You should consider teaching again because the kids nowadays do not know how to believe in God”. That statement stuck with me during Holy Week. During the last Friday of Stations of the Cross, it became evident that my calling is teaching my faith.

Believing God is my reason for living. He gives me hope when I have lost all sense of direction. There are certain individuals I wish would allow God in their hearts again. It pains me to see them live their lives behind a mask. If only they could open their eyes to see the truth that is portrayed, rather than accepting what is in front of them.

We all complain about how our lives are imperfect. We find excuses to valid our reasons for sinning. I believe that we can call learn from the life of Pope John Paul II. He lived his life to the fullest by spreading his faith all around world. He helped so many individuals and gave peace to the hearts that were once destroyed.

This is truly a time of reflection and prayer. How can I better my life? How can I have a deeper relationship with God? How can I help those who have lost hope?

Father,
your Son accepted our sufferings
to teach us the virtue of patience in human illness.
Hear the prayers we offer for the Holy Father.
May all who suffer pain, illness, or disease
realize that they have been chosen to be saints
and know that they are joined to Christ
in his suffering for the salvation of the world. Amen.

:edit:

He passed away while I was typing this entry. May He rest in peace in the arms of the Lord.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 23:41:33 GMT

today a student ran out of the classroom while i was subbing the class